Sal Stories

2-4 the price of 1

2011-11-29T08:54:00.000-08:00

Do you remember those silly outfits or jackets you can wear either from the inside or the outside? Well have you ever tried taking them to the cleaners?

If not let see how I did:

I went to a new cleaner to get my vest washed.

Cleaners: First Time here?

Me: Yes

Cleaners: What’s your number?

Me: Gave my number

Cleaners: Your last name and then your first?

Me: Gave her my name

Cleaners: Nice to meet you my name is April, smiles

Me: Nice to meet you, I smile. How much for the vest?

Cleaners: Tells me the price, few seconds later, oh, wait its double price; you can wear the vest inside and out!

Me: I start laughing, I said, “You can only do that in the month of April”.

April & I start laughing because of our sense of humor.

Cleaners: You’re going to pay double right?

Me: I nodded yes sarcastically while walking out backwards (giving the look your crazy I’m not paying double)

She just stood looking at me with a grin saying double right? I left!

She isn’t charging double nothing! When Friday gets here I deal with it.

The End

Hush-hush Mice secrets

2011-11-18T11:45:00.001-08:00

· If you dislike mice I have good news, this story has nothing to do with mice, and if you like mouse’s I have good news; this story has everything to do about mice. Okay, okay, on a more serious note I promise whether you like them or not this story is worth the next minute of your time. I just discovered a secret nobody else in this world knows; at least that’s how it felt when I discovered the random phenomenon.

Let’s see how it goes: It’s a busy work day (no oatmeal spill this time) and half the day was spent struggling with mouse, which is my wireless mouse. It would constantly freeze, glitch, trigger delay, etc. After two hours I decided to go to the IT dept. and replace the batteries. Walla it totally so didn’t work. I now decide to keep working and ignore the issue. After another two hours I was not making any progress instead it made my work process longer. Now I'm worried I might have a virus. At this point I am worked up and decide to not work until I figure out what is going on. The secret: Do not place your phone too close to a wireless mouse and speakers; it can interfere with the wireless transmission. Really I’m not kidding as I’m sure some of you are going attempt and try it. The End

Oatmeal makes men sexy

2011-11-14T11:42:00.000-08:00

· For the guys who are tired of getting turned down by the ladies I have your solution. Just like the title stats, Oatmeal is your best friend. Yes I said “Oatmeal”. You would not believe the amount of attention you’d get if you apply it just like I am getting ready to reveal the secret application. I must say just like any other great scientist, I discovered it upon accident.

Let’s see how it goes: I wanted fruit/maple oatmeal this morning so I purchased one. As I eat halfway through I decide to make a quick errand. During the errand I couldn’t help notice a few ladies checking me out. And I mean the check me out look from top to bottom and back. In my mind I'm like, “whoa, it must be the jacket I have on, only to find out later they weren't checking me out after all. Instead I had spilled oatmeal on my pants. I realized it way after the fact and boy did I get a good laugh. The end

Kool-Aid drama

2011-11-13T11:41:00.000-08:00

· For those of you who don’t know, I usually prefer water over any other drink. In fact 70% of the time if you’d ask me what I want to drink, I’d probably say water. On that note I went to go make a small stash of groceries. Curiously I decide to fancy up my water by purchasing Kool-Aid packets. I am now ready to use them for my enjoyment. All one needs to do is open up a packet, pour it into the water, and stir. How tough can that be?

Let’s see how it went: As I pour the powder into the water, I discovered that there was no stirs available. Out of hurry I grabbed a coffee straw thinking....hmmm I will stir the ingredients by making turbulence......let the bubbles begin....well I kind of used a bit too much blowing pressure that water bubbled high enough to jump out of the 7 inch cup and landing right on my shirt. I paused, thinking “did this really happen”. What are the chances of it going shooting towards me? The End

Water Fight

2011-11-11T11:35:00.000-08:00

· Hey, are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yeah remember those water fights with water balloons, squirt guns, hose, or even taking it way back; the surprise bucket of cold water. Yes those were the days as I remember.

Let’s see how I did: Don't ask me how but as I moved my cup of water away from my mouth and set on my desk, water jumped out high enough to go over my glasses and right in to my eye, what are the chances of that. I'm trying to figure how it rippled the water enough to do that. Why, Why me? Shoot skip that why my eyeball? Couldn’t you have just splash on my glasses?

Wrong way

2011-11-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

· Have you ever had the experience where you have gotten to a place and you don’t remember how you got there? Of course without being intoxicated, etc. I mean just straight out senior moment you don’t recall how you cross the street, passed lights, and passed through traffic, all you can remember is the question, how did I get here. Bah I hate when it happens.

Let’s see what happens: It was a Tuesday, a day where I typically leave work and head straight to church. I probably had a lot on my mind I just drove my tail off not realizing that I passed my exit to go church. Instead I was heading home. (SMH) Funny thing, the very next day I did the complete opposite. Instead of driving home I began driving to church. I had to slap myself for doing it twice in a row. Does this mean I’m getting oldL?